Is it a trial run or is it best to think about it as all the real deal game?

When I have failed, messed up, had my heart broken, I have thought and had friends say "That was just a trial run for the real thing".

It was comforting at the time, thinking that I didn't REALLY fail because it wasn't real.

But recently it has got me thinking: If every time you fail, you assume it's not real, How will you know when it is the real deal? Will you show up half-heartedly until you know it is the real thing? But then again, how will you know when it's the real thing?

If you are regularly assuming it is all practice, chances are you will never give it 100% effort. Many people's mentalities are "I'll try once it's game day."

It was mine for a long time too. I used to say I just wanted to play lacrosse games and skip all the practices. And while you do learn a lot in games, and the added pressure of a win makes people work harder, There is so much skill that is built within a well programmed practice.

If you follow the phrase "You play how you practice" or "practice how you want to play" or any variation of the famous phrase, and you choose to practice half-heartedly because "it's only practice", then you will not be fully prepared for game day and most likely give up early, fail quickly or choke.... At some point. Some days you may get lucky and win and have a great game.

But if you want to truly compete with the top players, you need to practice as intently as you want to play.

If you are always living in the trial, when does real life start? When everything is aligned, you're totally prepared?

But how are you going to get prepared if you do not practice intently, like you were in the game?

I've read and reread Tim Grover's book Relentless. The thing that separates the greats from the unstoppables are the hours of endless scrutinizing training sessions that are treated like the real deal, because they are the real deal.

Every day is your real life. This is the best in real life action you will get. If you are present with each opportunity you are given, you can turn any problem into a situation to learn from, tackle and eventually accomplish.

When you fail, fall, mess up, it's okay. It is real life. And you will learn a great more than if you were already perfect at it.

If you never fell off of your bike as a kid, you probably never rode a bike. And you probably don't know how to ride a bike still.

But you got on the bike. You fell. Probably a lot. But you learned that full sending down the hill sounded more fun than the fall at the bottom. And you started to break a little earlier than before.

Now, you most likely consider yourself a decent biker. No pro athlete, but you trust yourself to ride in most places, in many terrains and know you won't fall unless you do something stupid.

It's the real deal. And that may give you better courage to that life on more intently, be present in your situations to notice the lessons and achieve great victories and losses.