Giving up control

Remote learning changed how I have taught. A lot. Even though we are back in person, and have been for a year now, I haven't been practicing the same teaching philosophies I once embraced.

Noise bugs me. After being on zoom for so long, students muted and barely interacting, it is STILL hard for me to have a noisy classroom. Things were nearly silent and controlled by a volume button. When students are chatting and interacting with one another, it is almost a jerk reaction to tell them to stop and be quiet. I know that their engagement means talking. It means sometimes having a conversation that is off task from time to time. I am not perfect at it, but I am working on allowing noise. Now don't get me wrong, my classroom's loud, kids are chatting a lot. But it is not without a lot of self control on my part to let it happen. Give them some control of the room.

Student lead learning. Remote learning meant I did 90% of the talking. Teaching. When students had questions, a lot of the time the best way for them to ask was through the chatrooms. There was not an easy and simple way to view students work since it was math class. And typing your work of equations on google docs is not fun or enjoyable by any means.

So now being back in person, I have had a hard time allowing students to just work on problems without me leading the show-a practice I was pretty good at prior to covid days. I tend to gravitate towards leading the entire notes and practice. I have realized not only is it boring. Not only do I not know just how much my students know. But I also have pushed away my confidence in my students to be successful without me. I am surprised almost everytime just how much my students are capable of doing when I give them the space. AND counter to that, how much they are hesitant to do anything when I am not under the document camera.

But when I allow them to work without my lead, and allow them to work with their peers, talk, be engaged but allow for some side conversations, they are capable, they are bright, they are problem solvers, they are mathematicians. I just have to continue to remind myself of this everyday.

I do not have to be the star of the show, the main event, the conductor.

They can use me for guidance. But they are humans that need to learn how to be independent. And school allows for the practice without major consequences.

I am a work in progress. And so are students. They can take some of the power I have been gripping on to ever since we've been back in person.